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The White Horse by D. H. Lawrence
The youth walks up to the white horse, to put its halter on
and the horse looks at him in silence.
They are so silent, they are in another world.
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Good Things About Husbands vs The Horses' Advantage
©Gina Keesling, March 24 Newsletter - www.hoofprints.com
Good Things About Husbands
1. Husbands are less expensive to shoe than horses
2. Feeding a husband doesn't require anything that even mildly compares
with the hassle of putting up hay
3. A lame husband can still work
4. A husband with a bellyache doesn't have to be walked
5. Husbands don't try to scratch their heads on your back
6. They are better able to understand puns
7. If they are playing hard to catch, you may be able to run them down on foot
8. They know their name
9. They usually pay their own bills
10. They apologize when they step on your toes
11. No saddle fitting problems
12. They seldom refuse to get into the vehicle
13. They don't panic - running and yelling all through the house when you
leave them alone (unless you've left the kids with them too!)
14. For a nominal fee, you can hire someone else to clip them
15. They don't like the lady next door just as well as you, just because
she fed him for 3 days straight
The Horses' Advantage
1. If they don't work out you can sell them
2. They don't come complete with in-laws
3. You don't have to worry about your children looking like them
4. You never have to iron their saddle pads
5. If you get too fat for one, you can shop for a bigger one
6. They smell good when they sweat
7. You can repair their "clothes" with duct tape
8. It's possible to keep them from "jumping the fence"
9. You can force them to stay in good physical condition with a whip if necessary
10. They don't want their turn at the computer
11. They may turn white with age, but never go bald
12. They have never heard of PMS
13. They learn to accept restraint
14. They don't care what you look like as long as you have a carrot or an apple
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Whinnying is everything!
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Things NOT to Say to a Horse Owner ©Gina Keesling - www.hoofprints.com
Riding isn't a sport, the horse does all the work.
If you kept the house as neat as you do the barn,
we wouldn't have to look for things.
Sure, I can ride. I went riding on my vacation two years ago.
Your horse is only worth what someone will pay you for him.
Oh - you're going to breed her...how long will it take her to have a litter?
Gosh - your horse trailer cost more than your house!
Shouldn't that saddle in your front room be in the barn?
Why do you have so many horses? You can only ride one at a time.
Geez- It's ONLY a horse!
____ is old and you don't ride him anyway, why don't you sell him?
Did you know that your horse is foaming at the mouth?
The way you treat that horse, you'd think it was part of your family.
I heard that Dr Phil said that owning a horse is good exercise - for the horse.
Haven't you outgrown that horse "thing" yet?
Any phrase containing the word "hayburner."
If you spent as much time with your husband as you do your horse,
you'd have a happier marriage.
My car/boat/motorcycle just sits in the garage until I need it.
You have a Quarter Horse? Where's the rest of him?
Did you step in something? Your boots stink.
Should you still be riding at your age?
When can we come to ride?
You have to buy hay? Can't they just eat grass?
What, I shouldn't wear flip-flops out to your barn?
Do you have any clothes besides jeans & horse t-shirts?
Why do you take lessons? I thought you knew how to ride.
The baby horse is so cute - (when referring to an aged PONY)
You should show that horse who's boss, then he'll do what you want!
My teen is so lazy. I'll send him/her to your place-
maybe you can get him/her to work!
How many more times are you going to let that horse throw you off
before you give it up?
Do horses really have a personality?
Eew! Horse poop. How do you walk around here
So where do you get all of your money? I know you have money,
cause you've got horses.
Doesn't it hurt when you fall off?
Your barn is cleaner than your house.
Imagine how much money you'd have if you didn't have all these horses to feed!
Why put your vet's/farrier's kids through college? You could be taking a vacation!
Your horse's only talent is stimulating the economy.
You have horses...you must be RICH!
Are you sure he can breathe with that thing (girth) wrapped around his gut?
Why don't you train him to go outside like a dog, instead of in his stall?
How much did you say you paid for those shoes?
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"I've spent most of my life riding horses; the rest I've just wasted."
-unknown
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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, shouting:
WOO HOO what a ride!"
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“When you come to a fork in the road, take it”
-Yogi Berra
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On the first day God created the horse
and on the second day he painted the good ones.
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but the moments that take our breath away.
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“If your horse says "No," you either asked the wrong question
or asked the question wrong.” -Pat Parelli
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"Success is never a destination – it is a journey." -Satenig St. Marie
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“Gipsy Gold does not chink or glitter. It gleams in the sun and neighs in the dark.”
-the Gipsies of Galway, Ireland
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“The horse knows what you know and he knows what you don't know,
and most people don't know what they don't know,
and if the horse knows what you don't know and you don't know it
you've got a problem and you just don't know it.” -Pat Parelli
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A Horseman's Christmas by Doris Eraldi
It's the night before Christmas, we're out in the barn
Blanketing horses to keep them all warm
They're eating their dinners, tucked in cozy stalls
Not aware that it's Christmas or any special day at all
They can dream of spring pastures from their pine-scented beds
No visions of sugarplums dance in their heads
But we people are thinking of merry parties and such
Maybe feeling a little sad at missing so much
This season is special but the horses don't know
We've got work to do before we can go
We finish the chores and head on inside
To get ready for dinner and our own yuletide
It's nearly midnight, the carols are sung
I remember a story I was told when I was young
How at midnight on Christmas Eve
The creatures of the barnyard can speak to us with ease
I am called to the barn, I wade through the rain
I know I must go, I can't really explain
I slide open the door, pause for a while
Then slowly walk down that dimly lit aisle
A nicker from Casey, a wink from JD
Sleepy old Alibi waking to see
Tucker rustling his bedding, a snort soft and light
Each horse gave a greeting as I walked through the night
I thought about parties bright lit and warm
The ones we don't go to 'cause we have the barn
And vacations and holidays that we don't get
When we're working long hours for bills to be met
Walking all the way to the end of the aisle
I stop to stroke Bonnie, it brings me a smile
She snuffles my face, hot breath on my skin
It starts me to thinking about my horses, my kin
I could be at parties with laughter and mirth
But where I am right now is the best place on Earth.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!!
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